• Elizabeth Rossi

What to do when there’s NO reply to your text

June 1, 2020 We’ve ALL been there… you send out a text, expecting a reply back, and yet there it is… pure radio silence. What happened? What do you do? And what are some steps you can take? Read below for this month’s suggestions and texting tips.


  1. What happened? Depending on who you were texting, your mind can start racing in a million different directions and asking the “what ifs” — those pesky questions that can literally have you hypothesizing everything. Did you know however, that up to 5% of texts actually get lost in the ether and never find their way? Math isn’t my subject, but the average adult in the USA sends roughly 100 texts per day… so that could mean up to 5 of your texts have potential to get lost on the daily. There’s all kinds of technical reasons for this including buggy cell phone networks, signals bouncing between cell towers, phone glitches, and more. Then there’s all kinds of natural delays — like perhaps the recipient is watching a movie, taking a nap, or on a hike in nature where signals are weaker. These and many more technical and natural delays are explained thoroughly in The Text Book, browse through these to increase your awareness of what could have happened.

  2. What do you do? First don’t freak out, and don’t take it personally. Calm down. Take a breath. Recognize that a technical or natural delay may have happened, and that you have probably been in that spot too at some point — whether you were having a meal with your family and there’s a “No cell phone” policy or you were engrossed in good book or movie. If the text you’ve sent this person isn’t time critical, give them at least a few hours up to 3 days to respond. Sometimes people are busy or just need some headspace. Respect that. Go find something fun to do with friends, enjoy a hobby, or get outside for a walk… enjoy your life knowing that you can’t make someone message you back, no matter how hard you want them to.

  3. What are some steps you can take? After a reasonable amount of time has elapsed — reasonable is something that is different to each situation — you can try resending the same message. This step is allowable even 1–2 hours after you’ve sent it the first time… it’s just showing that you are making sure it was sent. Taking this step can give some peace of mind, because you’ll know the likelihood of *both* messages getting lost in the ether is very slim. The next step is to live your life and go on about your day… ever hear of the saying “A watched pot never boils”? The same holds true here. If you’ve sent the original text twice, waited, and there’s still no response, try using one of the “100 Ways to Say Hello” messages in The Text Book to reconnect with this person. Maybe they’ve had an upset in their life, fell ill, etc. Reach out to say hi and let them know you’re thinking of them and hope everything’s okay. Let them know you’re there for them if they want to talk or need anything. If you still don’t hear back from them… this person needs time and space — give it to them and focus on building connections with people who want to connect with you.

If you’d like to learn more on how to text better, and receive 100s of sample scripts and tips on what to say, check out the website! You can also download a copy of The Text Book. Better communication = better relationships!

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